If you've come here looking for my taphophile and graveyard posts, they can now be found at my new blog, Beneath Thy Feet. Hope to see you there.

Friday, 26 December 2008

Santa's Been

We had to wake the girls this year but as soon as we uttered the words 'Santa's been' they sprang from their beds like coiled springs.

Soon enough though it was time to open presents!

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Monday, 22 December 2008

Christmas fun!

Create Your Own

After beating off that winter virus which left me unable to do much but lay on the sofa while listening to the girls kill each other I decided it was some time for some Christmas fun.

So we baked some biscuits and then iced them. Loads of sticky fun.

Friday, 12 December 2008

Ill doesn't even begin to cover it!

I knew there was a good reason against taking your youngest to Mother and Toddler groups. Amy and myself have been struck down with the mother of all lurgies.

Yesterday morning I went out early into town to get some silver shoes for Ana, as the school had dumped it on my the previous evening through that wonderful medium the home school diary, that she would be requiring 'fancy' shoes to wear with her fairy costume for the school play for Friday dress rehearsal.

This is the same flipping play that they have been rehearsing daily since, oh I don't know, June!

So why wait until Wednesday to tell me she needs shoes?

Anyway twittering on as usual, it was quite cold, misty and frosty that morning and I noticed my chest was feeling tight and breathing was an effort. I shrugged it off as my Asthma playing up due to the cold damp air. Myself and Amy were completely fine until about 10pm last night when I was struck down with a raging fever and thumping headache.

Amy didn't fair too well ever and we both experienced a night of fitful sleep. Of course I use the word sleep in the loosest possible sense.

Today we have existed mainly laying on the sofa watching Playhouse Disney and only moving to drink, pee or take medicine.

But look on the bright side I have at least 12 days to get over it

Friday, 5 December 2008

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Amy doesn't eat, full stop. She has been known to survive entire weeks on condiments and carpet fluff.

Imagine our joy if you will when upon a recent cafe visit we discovered that Amy likes cherry tomatoes.

So we added a punnet to this weeks shopping and yesterday a sliced a few in half to put with her lunch of two slices of ham and a slice of chicken roll. I was pleased when she ate up all of the tomatoes and some of the ham. Woohoo, I've cracked it.

Or so I thought, whilst upstairs tackling both of the girls bedrooms Amy got into the fridge and helped herself to the remaining tomatoes. All of them!

I am now dealing with the very runny and very smelly fall out. I didn't think poo came in that shade of red

Monday, 1 December 2008

No, no, no!

Last night daddy told Amy 'NO!'

Amy said. 'Daddy, will you stop saying NO! It's all you ever say, NO, NO, NO!'

I have to agree with her there!

Thursday, 27 November 2008

The art of Ferreting

Amy has developed a habit of ferreting down the back of her nappy with her hands. Requests for her to stop was met with.

'No, they hiding!' They being her hands of course.

The ferreting continued until yesterday when she warmed up for a good old ferret and got her fingers covered in poo (which she tried to discretely wipe off on the table!).

I haven't noticed any ferreting manoeuvres at all today.

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Today I traumatised my youngest

By taking her to see Father Christmas.

We went into Slough to do a spot of shopping and this year they have a huge walk in groto in the shopping centre were you can meet Father Christmas and have a photo taken.

Amy was really excited about meeting the man in question so in we went. We oooohed and ahhhhhed at the fairy lights, anatronic animals and fake snow.

At the end of the walk a lady elf asked, 'Is there anyone here who wants to see Santa?'

'ME! ME!' Squealed Amy.

'Knock on the door and see if he's ready.' Said Mrs Elf.

Amy knocked on the door and went in.

'HO! HO! HO!' Boomed Father Christmas.

Amy's face paled and she shot up her dad faster then a ferret after a rabbit.

She cried, screamed and sobbed that she wanted to go home and wouldn't even say thank you for her present. While she was perfecting her strangle hold on daddy's neck Mrs Elf asked, 'So you don't want a photo then?'

Afterwards Amy told me, 'Father Christmas has a scary beard and I don't want him saying Ho Ho Ho!' I asked her what she would do on Christmas Eve when he comes to deliver her presents.

'I don't want any presents!' *sniff*

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Potty Time!

The time for celebration is at hand! Today at 4pm, Amy did her first wee on the potty! I am currently resisting the urge to rush out and buy some cute little knickers.

Thursday, 30 October 2008

AGH! Big Mouth!

Amy has a current fixation about going to school.

She's rather miffed that she doesn't get to go.

Seeing this as a chance to move potty training along a little bit I told Amy that she would have to learn to do a pee on the potty before they would let her go to school.

'They won't let you go to school in nappies.' I say.

'THEY DO AT MY SCHOOL!' bellows Ana.

Back to square one then

Friday, 24 October 2008

Money, money money!

Yesterday The Insolvecy Service resorted our faith in Government Departments. After telling us that we should expect to wait 6-8 weeks for seeing the faintest hint of anything currency like they paid Vinnie within 4 weeks.

So now to the task of getting back to normal!

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

Sunshine in October

Remember those sunflower seeds we planted back in July, the ones that fell foul of the snail mafia only to rise once again from the bitter compost of defeat? No.

Well after one, two, THREE months of waiting they have finally flowered! Not the huge yellow blooms I had expected, but still beautiful none the less. Adding a bit of sunshine on the greyest of October mornings.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

Well the mystery of Amy's non eating has been solved. She has come down with another cold and this one's a baddie.
She has an awful hacking cough at night. However her night time cough medicine seems to be helping with that.
She was surprisingly cheery this morning and came out with the few gems.
When daddy asked for a cuddle she said, 'no daddy, you're sad!' I don't think she meant boo hoo either.
As she was up early this morning she was watching me get dressed, when I took off my night shirt and went to put my bra on she giggled and said, 'I can see your boobie buttons!' Thats nipples to you and me.

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Dearest Darling Vincent,

I love you very much and I know it's not your fault that you found yourself unemployed at the end of last month, but.

I simply cannot wait for you to knob off back to work!

I am sick of watching daytime crap on the TV. Yes, I actually do prefer Spongebob and Backyardgains!

Stop interfering in the way I run the house. I have managed it so far without the children killing each other the animals running away or the place burning to the ground, thank you very much!

Your loving, if slightly peeved wife xx

Friday, 10 October 2008

Toddlers and Eating

Amy has never been a big eater and has been fussy to say the least. I have actually let her get on with it and things have been fine, she's growing and is a healthy weight.

Over the last few days this has changed and she is eating less and less. Over the last two days she has eaten.

Day 1

Breakfast - Two spoonfuls of Coco pops

Lunch - one custard creams (she had this as a treat at 11:00am and then refused to eat lunch.

Dinner - Nothing

Day 2

Breakfast - 1/4 slice of toast

Lunch - a slice of ham (disgarded the rest of the sandwhich)

Dinner - Nothing

She is now waking several times in the night hungry, but when ever I try to encourage her to eat she tells me she doesn't like breakfast/lunch/dinner. At the moment she still has plenty of energy and I am still leaving her to it ie) not forcing her to eat but also not offering and alternative (to stop her filling up on crap).

*Oh, Vinnie has just informed me that Amy has been sucking the pink highlighter that was in the drawer, so that's lunch and dinner for tonight then*

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

On the road to Happy

Today Vinnie got a phone call at 5:30 pm.

He got the Birthday's job he was after and at the same rate of pay he was on at Motor World.

He starts on Tuesday!

So all we have to do now is juggle things about for the next few weeks.

We also received a letter from Housing Benefit wanting Vinnie's P45 before they pay for the two weeks he was out of work. One problem there, we have a month to produce it and Vinnie won't get it for 6-8 weeks.

'Why hello! Yes I have no money and would like to claim some benefits. Please could you kindly direct me to the nearest brick wall so I may dash my head against it? Thank you very much!'

Friday, 26 September 2008

Difficult times are ahead

Vinnie went to work this morning only to be told that the store owners have gone into administration, he won't be getting paid this Tuesday and as of yesterday he is no longer empolyed.

Thank you very much here's a letter now off to the jobcentre with you.

I suppose that's life really and it is happening to many people up and down the country, but to wait until 4 days until they're due to pay you is a bit of a bugger as those last days are always tight.

I have had a little cry, got past that now. I have phoned everyone and told them they won't be getting their money this month.

We're all alive and the kids are healthy and that's more important really, isn't it.

Friday, 12 September 2008

Charlie, Barley and Mo

So okay my husband managed to fool me into believing that he had bought me storage cabinets for the bathroom. When in fact he had purchased a 125 litre aquarium for our goldfish Charlie, Barley and Mo.

Not great picture quality, but they just wouldn't hold still!

Monday, 8 September 2008

1st Anniversary!

Well, I never thought we would get this far (joking), but today myself and Vincent celebrated our 1st Wedding Anniversary.
On the Sunday we had a wonderful family BBQ. Shame the weather wasn't the same as it was last year.

Thursday, 4 September 2008

The 'other' use for those charity bags that come through the door.

This morning we had a charity bag pop through the door. Sadly at the moment we don't have anything to give, but fear not! Amy has discovered another use for those charity bags and here it is.

If you haven't guessed she's a 'ooper hero!' Don't worry she was supervised whilst wearing it and got bored with in 5 mintues and took it off.

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Richard Hamalton's summer job? A bus driver in Maidenhead

I took the girls swimming this morning, but we left early as Amy said she wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. This is very unlike her and since it's a 30 minute walk home from town I decided to catch the bus instead.

I usually avoid taking the bus where possible. Our bus drivers seem to have little patience for anyone with a pushchair or young children. We get on the bus and I place the pushchair in the bit where you put pushchairs (what is that called?) and apply the brake (apart from the swim bag in the shopping tray of the pushchair there was nothing else in it). As Amy was feeling unwell and clingy she wanted to sit on my lap for the journey.

It was then that I experienced something I never thought I would in a bus G Force!

The bus driver took off at amazing speed causing a few of the elderly passengers still taking their seats to grab on for dear life. He flew round the corner which caused the buggy to tip over, nearly taking a little old lady with it. I apologised profusely while juggling an upset toddler and swim bag and attempted to right the pushchair.

The driver didn't stop or even slow, but instead buffered us about the bus like pinballs as I struggled to ram the pushchair into the bay bit so it wouldn't fall.

I then spent the rest of the journey trying to stop the girls being catapulted to the front of the bus when we stopped and hurled to the back when ever we pulled away.

The most stressful bus ride I have had in the long time.

Saturday, 23 August 2008

My baby is no longer a baby! Big bed time.

Now I am firmly of the opinion that children should be shoehorned into their cot for as long as humanly possible or until they learn to escape.

At two years old I thought we still had a fair while before we transferred Amy from the cot to a big girls bed. That was until my DH phoned me in the middle of town to announce that he had purchased a bed plus mattress for Amy and it was being delivered that afternoon.

As Amy is likely to be my last child a tiny part of me, well, okay a rather large, quivering part of me wanted to cling desperately onto the last strands of her babyhood.

Que me rushing to get home before the bed and forgetting 99% of the stuff I went into town for in the first place. We remembered the balloon animal tiger that the clowns were selling in the street today. Most important thing I think you'll understand.

I get home and five minutes later two men man handle a ready-made up bed into my hallway where they refused to take it upstairs and told me I would have to dismantle it and do it myself. I really didn't fit in the hallway so at the risk of eyes being gouged out it had to move.

Several sweaty hours, scratched walls and swear words later I manage to get the bed upstairs and reassembled in Amy's room. After having dismantled the cot. It looks odd and Amy's room is now teeny tiny. I had to rearrange the furniture to fit it in. Oh and on a positive note Amy has learnt to say 'Oh c**p!'

I was all geared up for a terrible evening attempting to keep Amy in her new bed via the use of bungee straps. But the little stinker was out like a light!

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Yes, we went swimming again!

Spurred on by the fact that Amy loved her first proper swim it was decided that today we would get up early and all go for a family swim.
Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and Amy soon grew tried of the baby pool and decided that the big pool was for her. She loved floating around in her rubber ring and kicking her legs.
Ana also had a good time playing with a group of young boys, that was of course until some bigger boys turned up to spoil the fun. It was then that we decided to leave the leisure centre and take the bus home to some delicious bacon baps. Mmmm

Friday, 15 August 2008

After the rain comes the sun, and some rainbows too.

A couple of months ago Amy manged to completely disable our laptop. Her crime? Simply tripping over the power supply lead while the laptop was charging. All that happened was the power supply lead became detached, or so we thought.

It soon became apparent that the laptop would no longer turn on, let alone charge. At first we thought this was due to the charger being damaged in the 'accident' so we managed to get our hands on another one. Still no joy. It was then it hit us like a sledge hammer, our laptop, faithful friend, warm companion on those cold winter nights was in fact *gasp* DEAD! Of course it had just so happened to manage it's death throws with all of our data suck on it.

The most upsetting thing, for me at least, was that now precious photographs of my children (and pets) some from birth, Christmases and birthdays were now trapped forever in their plastic and silicone prison. The charge for breaking them free? Upwards of £500 plus VAT.

Things looked bleak, very bleak indeed. Bleaker then a bleak thing in bleakdom.

That was until today. Somewhere in the recesses of my memory bank I recalled having transferred most of the photographs in question on to the laptop *rest his semiconductor soul* from our archaic PC via CD ROM. Well, I found that CD ROM! It also just so happens that any later photographs that I have taken have all been stored in my photobucket albums.

For now at least, the god smile upon us!

Thursday, 14 August 2008

I'm a fish, I'm a mermaid!

Yesterday while Ana was at the Madhouse Activity Club, myself and Vincent took Amy swimming for the first time. To be honest I was expecting her to hate the very idea of getting in the pool. I realised that Amy doesn't really take to new things to well the moment I had to drag her screaming in protest to the top of a small slide in Cheeky Charlie's. Once I had forcefully shoved her down said slide it was then that she squealed, 'again!'

Well, she loved it and to my surprise even managed to swim a little while wearing her arm bands, declaring that she was a fish and a mermaid. She decided that the slide which plummets into the shallow end of the baby pool was the greatest fun of all time, even on occasions complete immersing herself under the water.

Of course there were a few protests when it was time to leave came, but all in all a great time was had.

Thursday, 7 August 2008

Dear Weatherman

Dear Weatherman,

Yesterday and in fact today you said that it was going to rain, not just rain but precipitation of monsoon proportions for Thursday and indeed most of the week.

It was because of this information that I cancelled a picnic due to take place in the park to alleviate summer holiday boredom. Also it was decided that, as it was going to bucket it down from our waking hour until we slipped soundly off to sleep to a lullaby of raindrops beating on the windowsill, I would not water the plants in the garden.

Please forgive me if I seem a little confused to you, as we have been basking in glorious sunshine for most of the day. It even became so warm at one point I was forced to refill the paddling pool.

So there we have it, a perfectly fabulous day, wasted!

Paddling Pool Fun!

Yesterday we finally mananged to get a new paddling pool after we returned the faulty one. Here are the girls testing it out on what can only be described as a rather cool day. Still the rain held off until they came out bluer then they went in!

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Fun with magnetic letters!

A while back we bought a massive bag of 2nd hand magnetic fridge letters from a local school fete for 20p


Since then I have been endlessly entertaining myself spelling out rude words and leaving covert messages on the fridge for Vincent.

Yesterday afternoon Amy even did a portrait of daddy (with a little help). What do you think? Spitting image!

Monday, 4 August 2008

Bucket O' Snails

It was a bright but very damp start to this morning thanks to the overnight rain. Amy happily spent her time collecting the many garden snails that were resting on the fence in the morning sunshine.

Sunday, 3 August 2008

A Rainy Day At The Beach

Thursday we decided to take the girls to Bournemouth Beach for a treat. It was just a shame that it did nothing but rain when we got there, still a good time was had by all.

Getting there on the train wasn't half as bad as I expected it to be. We left Maidenhead at 09:10 and arrived at Bournemouth Station at 11:30. Of course finding the seafront wasn't nearly as simple. I couldn't believe that such a major tourist attraction wouldn't be signposted straight from the station.

However we found it in the end just in time for the heavens to open! It was still quite warm so we decided to brave it and get to making sand castles.

After which Amy had a great time smashing them down again before she noticed the sea. "Look mummy, a river!"
It wasn't long before the rain became heavier and we decided it was time to seek shelter and what better place to do that then the Oceanaruim. The girls had a fantastic time watching Sharks, Rays and Sea Turtles swiming above their heads. In fact I think they had more fun there then on the beach.


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