Dear Second Born,
Unfortunately I was not blessed with eyeballs up my nostrils. So please, when you're excitedly showing me the sticker/toy/dead fly you have found, kindly refrain from jamming it up my nose.
I currently do not speak 'whingese' and Muzzy has yet to add it to their repertoire. Any requests made in a high pitched whiny tone will be ignored until you speak in a manner I can understand. Throwing yourself on the floor and or sliding off the furniture does not get your point across any better.
People come in many different shapes and sizes. The more rotund, myself included, dislike being referred to as, 'that FAT, LARGE or ROUND LIKE A BALL lady over there.' Also, enquiries as to why the lady in front of us at the supermarket has a big bottom are generally not well received.
It is lovely when you decide to enlighten me as to what you did at Nursery school that afternoon but please, please do not point kids out in the playground to lament about how they do not share or hit, push and or 'do your head in'. Especially when their parent or grandparent is present.
Sometimes it is just nicer not to say things.
Your ever loving mummy xxxx