Ill doesn't even begin to cover it!

I knew there was a good reason against taking your youngest to Mother and Toddler groups. Amy and myself have been struck down with the mother of all lurgies.

Yesterday morning I went out early into town to get some silver shoes for Ana, as the school had dumped it on my the previous evening through that wonderful medium the home school diary, that she would be requiring 'fancy' shoes to wear with her fairy costume for the school play for Friday dress rehearsal.

This is the same flipping play that they have been rehearsing daily since, oh I don't know, June!

So why wait until Wednesday to tell me she needs shoes?

Anyway twittering on as usual, it was quite cold, misty and frosty that morning and I noticed my chest was feeling tight and breathing was an effort. I shrugged it off as my Asthma playing up due to the cold damp air. Myself and Amy were completely fine until about 10pm last night when I was struck down with a raging fever and thumping headache.

Amy didn't fair too well ever and we both experienced a night of fitful sleep. Of course I use the word sleep in the loosest possible sense.

Today we have existed mainly laying on the sofa watching Playhouse Disney and only moving to drink, pee or take medicine.

But look on the bright side I have at least 12 days to get over it

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Amy doesn't eat, full stop. She has been known to survive entire weeks on condiments and carpet fluff.

Imagine our joy if you will when upon a recent cafe visit we discovered that Amy likes cherry tomatoes.

So we added a punnet to this weeks shopping and yesterday a sliced a few in half to put with her lunch of two slices of ham and a slice of chicken roll. I was pleased when she ate up all of the tomatoes and some of the ham. Woohoo, I've cracked it.

Or so I thought, whilst upstairs tackling both of the girls bedrooms Amy got into the fridge and helped herself to the remaining tomatoes. All of them!

I am now dealing with the very runny and very smelly fall out. I didn't think poo came in that shade of red

No, no, no!

Last night daddy told Amy 'NO!'

Amy said. 'Daddy, will you stop saying NO! It's all you ever say, NO, NO, NO!'

I have to agree with her there!

The art of Ferreting

Amy has developed a habit of ferreting down the back of her nappy with her hands. Requests for her to stop was met with.

'No, they hiding!' They being her hands of course.

The ferreting continued until yesterday when she warmed up for a good old ferret and got her fingers covered in poo (which she tried to discretely wipe off on the table!).

I haven't noticed any ferreting manoeuvres at all today.

Today I traumatised my youngest

By taking her to see Father Christmas.

We went into Slough to do a spot of shopping and this year they have a huge walk in groto in the shopping centre were you can meet Father Christmas and have a photo taken.

Amy was really excited about meeting the man in question so in we went. We oooohed and ahhhhhed at the fairy lights, anatronic animals and fake snow.

At the end of the walk a lady elf asked, 'Is there anyone here who wants to see Santa?'

'ME! ME!' Squealed Amy.

'Knock on the door and see if he's ready.' Said Mrs Elf.

Amy knocked on the door and went in.

'HO! HO! HO!' Boomed Father Christmas.

Amy's face paled and she shot up her dad faster then a ferret after a rabbit.

She cried, screamed and sobbed that she wanted to go home and wouldn't even say thank you for her present. While she was perfecting her strangle hold on daddy's neck Mrs Elf asked, 'So you don't want a photo then?'

Afterwards Amy told me, 'Father Christmas has a scary beard and I don't want him saying Ho Ho Ho!' I asked her what she would do on Christmas Eve when he comes to deliver her presents.

'I don't want any presents!' *sniff*

Potty Time!

The time for celebration is at hand! Today at 4pm, Amy did her first wee on the potty! I am currently resisting the urge to rush out and buy some cute little knickers.

Happy Halloween!

AGH! Big Mouth!

Amy has a current fixation about going to school.


She's rather miffed that she doesn't get to go.


Seeing this as a chance to move potty training along a little bit I told Amy that she would have to learn to do a pee on the potty before they would let her go to school.


'They won't let you go to school in nappies.' I say.


'THEY DO AT MY SCHOOL!' bellows Ana.


Back to square one then

Money, money money!

Yesterday The Insolvecy Service resorted our faith in Government Departments. After telling us that we should expect to wait 6-8 weeks for seeing the faintest hint of anything currency like they paid Vinnie within 4 weeks.

So now to the task of getting back to normal!

Sunshine in October

Remember those sunflower seeds we planted back in July, the ones that fell foul of the snail mafia only to rise once again from the bitter compost of defeat? No.





Well after one, two, THREE months of waiting they have finally flowered! Not the huge yellow blooms I had expected, but still beautiful none the less. Adding a bit of sunshine on the greyest of October mornings.

Well the mystery of Amy's non eating has been solved. She has come down with another cold and this one's a baddie.

She has an awful hacking cough at night. However her night time cough medicine seems to be helping with that.

She was surprisingly cheery this morning and came out with the few gems.

When daddy asked for a cuddle she said, 'no daddy, you're sad!' I don't think she meant boo hoo either.

As she was up early this morning she was watching me get dressed, when I took off my night shirt and went to put my bra on she giggled and said, 'I can see your boobie buttons!' Thats nipples to you and me.

Dearest Darling Vincent,

I love you very much and I know it's not your fault that you found yourself unemployed at the end of last month, but.

I simply cannot wait for you to knob off back to work!

I am sick of watching daytime crap on the TV. Yes, I actually do prefer Spongebob and Backyardgains!

Stop interfering in the way I run the house. I have managed it so far without the children killing each other the animals running away or the place burning to the ground, thank you very much!

Your loving, if slightly peeved wife xx

Toddlers and Eating

Amy has never been a big eater and has been fussy to say the least. I have actually let her get on with it and things have been fine, she's growing and is a healthy weight.

Over the last few days this has changed and she is eating less and less. Over the last two days she has eaten.

Day 1

Breakfast - Two spoonfuls of Coco pops

Lunch - one custard creams (she had this as a treat at 11:00am and then refused to eat lunch.

Dinner - Nothing

Day 2

Breakfast - 1/4 slice of toast

Lunch - a slice of ham (disgarded the rest of the sandwhich)

Dinner - Nothing

She is now waking several times in the night hungry, but when ever I try to encourage her to eat she tells me she doesn't like breakfast/lunch/dinner. At the moment she still has plenty of energy and I am still leaving her to it ie) not forcing her to eat but also not offering and alternative (to stop her filling up on crap).

*Oh, Vinnie has just informed me that Amy has been sucking the pink highlighter that was in the drawer, so that's lunch and dinner for tonight then*

On the road to Happy

Today Vinnie got a phone call at 5:30 pm.

He got the Birthday's job he was after and at the same rate of pay he was on at Motor World.

He starts on Tuesday!

So all we have to do now is juggle things about for the next few weeks.

We also received a letter from Housing Benefit wanting Vinnie's P45 before they pay for the two weeks he was out of work. One problem there, we have a month to produce it and Vinnie won't get it for 6-8 weeks.

'Why hello! Yes I have no money and would like to claim some benefits. Please could you kindly direct me to the nearest brick wall so I may dash my head against it? Thank you very much!'