What a difference...

A year makes.

This time last year I was sat in a stark A&E watiting room as I had just started spotting at 10 weeks during my third pregnancy.

Many long silent hours later I was seen and told to simply go home and wait it out. Sadly any hope we had died along with the promise of our child on 23rd February 2011. We were the victims of a missed misscarriage due to a blighted ovum. A quirk of nature where nothing develops from the fertilised egg save an empty sac. An empty sac that your body clings to desperately for weeks before nature takes it's course.

In some respects it feels as if it only happened yesterday and in others it feels like it happened 10 years ago.

Yet here we are, a year later, expecting the arrival of our third daughter by elective c-section on 9th March this year.

One thing that loss cruelly took from me was ignorance. The innocent belief that every pregnancy ends in a baby and that everything would be okay. Of course I knew about misscarriage and loss, but those were terrible truly sad things that happened to other people.

I will never believe that my unborn daughter is safe and well until she is here and in my arms.


25 days to go...

Macro Monday #macromonday

For more Macro Monday posts, please stop by Lisa's Chaos.

Silent Sunday #silentsunday

Saturday is Caption Day! #SatCap

Simply post up a photo and ask your readers to come up with a caption for it. Enjoy.

For more Saturday is Caption Day posts, please stop by Mammasaurus's blog.

Photo Story Friday - Uncooperative

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

Uncooperative little madam.

Honestly, I don't know why I bother. All I ask is that she sit there and gaze at the scene before her in an arty farty sort of way. YOU'RE FIRED! Good models are so hard to come by these days.

There's still snow on the ground, with more forecast for today. That's it, I'm going into hibernation. Wake me when it's over.

Reasons to be Cheerful #R2BC

Today I received a cheque in the post. A Council Tax Rebate of £30.57 for paying too much. Right now I don't know whether to cash it or frame it. Part of me is waiting for the letter that will say it's all been a huge mistake and in fact I owe them.

More snow is forecast for tonight or Friday. While I do not find snow a reason to be cheerful and quite honestly I can do with out it, it's half term next week and at least the snow (if it hangs around) will help occupy the girls at a stage in my pregnancy when I really cannot get out and about that much.

Tomorrow I finally have my physio appointment to get some splints to help with my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I have been in agnoy since around 29/30 weeks. Unfortunately my appointment is at 9:00am, the time when I would usually be dropping Amy off at school. I am unable to rearrange due to the fact the lday I am booked to see will be going on maternity leave the following week and there will be no one to see me until after Jessica is born. Thankfully wen I explained the situtation to Amy's school they stepped in and offered to look after her early in class so I could make my appointment.

Today is 9th February. Exactly one month to go until we greet Jessica. I am so looking forward to no longer having feet in my ribs and fists in my kidneys.

To see more Reasons to be Cheerful, please stop by Mummy from the Heart's blog.

The Gallery - A Family Story #thegallery

The theme this week: A Family Story. This is my family's story.

Above is a photograph of a child's drawing. That picture was drawn nearly six years ago by my autistic daughter Ana in 2005 at a moment when we were all embarking on our new life together as a family.

I had Ana in 1998 at 18 years of age and soon became a single parent. For the first six years of her life I lived with my parents and threw myself into solely looking after her needs. Then in 2004 I met my then partner and now husband. A moment I never ever thought would happen. What man would want to take me and another man's child on, let along a child with problems and as for having more children? Well, you could forget it.

2005 was a busy year for us, we had just moved into a place of our own. A big change for Ana, but one she took in her stride as well as the fact she was expecting a new brother or sister.

In the picture is myself, complete with baby in tummy, my husband, our cat Thomas (back when we only had one cat) our dog Shen and Ana broken hearted at the fact our old dog Rex had recently passed on to doggy heaven, but still very much a member of our family in her eyes.

Seven years on here we are, expecting anpother addition to our family. We're not perfect, we have our ups and downs, there have been very good times and there have been very bad times. But we have got through them all, together.

For more Gallery posts, please stop by Sticky Fingers Blog.

Taphophile Tragics - Behind Every Stone Is A Story.

Taphophilia is a passion for and enjoyment of cemeteries The singular term is a taphophile.



Recently restored memorial Angel to Jessie Outram, born 7th December 1884 - died 17th October 1912 aged 27 years (after much suffering) and of Private Alexander Robert Outram of the 22nd Battalion, Royal Fusiliers, born 9th October 1879 - died 17th February 1917, killed in action in France aged 38. For years this beautiful memorial had been nothing more then a mound of ivy and brambles.

All Saints Maidenhead Cemetery, All Saints Avenue, Berkshire, UK.

Such a tragic loss of two young lives, leaving behind their son Alexander Joseph Harold Outram who also died at a young age, 32 in Westminster London.

Alexander Sr was born in Tanca Peru in 1878 and Jessie nee LeSueur was born In Jersey, the Channel Islands. They were married on 23 October 1904 in Jersey and by 1907 had moved to Maidenhead Berkshire and had their son Alexander Jr.

In 1904 Alexander Sr joined the Volunteer Reserve and later The Royal Fusiliers on 7th June 1916 . He served with the Expeditionary Force in France from 1st December that year and was reported missing in action on 17th February 1917 after fighting near Petit Miraumont. He was later known to be killed in action on that date.

Jessie died at a very young age after much suffering, possibly from an illness.

I wonder what brought them from Peru to Jersey and then to my home town in Maidenhead? Why were they and their young son all fated to die so early and were they happy during the brief time they had together?





For more Taphophile Tragics please stop by the Taphophile Tragics Blog.

Macro Monday #macromonday

For more Macro Monday shots, please stop by Lisa's Chaos

Silent Sunday #SilentSunday

Saturday is Caption Day! #SatCap

Simply post up a photo and ask your readers to come up with a caption for it. Enjoy.

Just so you all know, that brownish upsidedown triangle to the left with the black swirls coming out of it, is a tornado.

For more pictures to caption, head on over to Mammasaurus

Photo Story Friday: Tits!

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

On a wire.

Lola Fannola keeping an eye on the new neighbours moving in.

A pair of Bluetits have again taken up residence in the front wall of our house. They're currently shacked up in a hole where the overflow pipe from the old water tank used to be.

Can you believe our Housing Association wanted to block the hole up while Mr and Mrs Tit were doing the weekly shop? I politely reminded them that knowingly disturbing nesting birds was ILLEGAL! There was also something about them blocking up the hole over thier cold dead bodies. I think they believed me. Best to really.

Reasons to be Cheerful #R2BC

It's Thursday again and that time of the week to sit back and count our blessings.

1. For one I am glad that January is over and February has begun. January is a sort of non month, no only do we have the post Christmas blues, but for many of us there's that long wait until payday. February in comparison is short and sweet.

2. Five weeks and a day left to go until we meet our third daughter, Jessica. While I can wait for the sleepless nights and the dirty nappies, I can't wait to get rid of the discomfort of late pregnancy and get my body back just for me.

3. Another thing that makes me cheerful and gets me counting my blessings is my husband. I am so glad that I have met someone that shares the same moral values and the same bizarre sense of humour as myself. The secrert to a happy marriage? Communication via text message only.

For more Reasons to be Cheerful, please stop by Mummy from the Heart's blog.

The Gallery - Me Right Now #thegallery

So this week's theme is: Me Right Now.

Literally take a photo of whatever you're doing when you read this prompt.

Gee, thanks for that Tara, you can go off people you know.