OMFG! Nits and ticks

OMFG! Nits and ticks

My life as a mother is such a glamorous one. No, really! There comes a time in your life when you can judge just how far down the slippery slope of domesticity you've slid by the numbers you have stored on speed dial. Gone are your friends and clubbing buddies, no more are the taxi ranks and take aways above those of your family. Instead your phone seems to only hold numbers of medical professionals and emergency contacts.

Today my speed dial most definitely got a work out. First thing in the morning, house a shit tip, I was as usual chasing Pugpoo's bare bottom around the living room trying to convince her that although the fresh air whistling past her most private bits does indeed feel nice she really needs to put a nappy on before our carpet starts to smell like a male public convenience. I finally managed to wrestle her to the ground and hoist her legs in the air ready to slip the nappy underneath when OMFG is that A TICK! Yes, a tick! My darling daughter has a tick on her leg!

Thus I put in my first panicked call to out GP and an appointment was made. Oh the fun we had, three abled bodied adults failing desperately to hold down and 18 month old child so she can have Vaseline slapped on her leg to make the tick drop off (which it did later), now why couldn't they just tell me to do that at home?

Everything calms down until Ana's eventual return from school with an itchy head. 'So and so wasn't at school today because they have N-I-T-S!' enthuses my eldest daughter 'And I have N-I-T-S too.'


'Don't be silly you're imagining it' I child, but never the less I have a look and what do I find? Yes, nits. Again another panicked rush to the doctors to get something to kill the buggers (kill my arse, they were still thrashing about on the comb after an hour marinading in the stuff).

So there you have it, I have since put in a call to our local council to have our home condemned as a health hazard. Meanwhile we wait for the next exciting development no doubt on the near horizon, worms!