My life is governed by sod's law.
Here are a few recent examples;
The rain yesterday, the one day when Mother and Toddlers is on, the only place where you can have a free cup of tea and biscuit while Pugpoo learns that she is not the only being in the universe and there are bigger, uglier kids out there that hit back and it rains!
Birthday present hunting. The one present that my nephew has set is heart on and I have promised his mother upon pain of death that I will get him is completely sold out everywhere. So any readers out there that know where I can get a £9.99 Friction Action Roary Racing Car from, please let me know!
I have a bad back, I'm in a hurry and my daughter is screaming blue bloody murder. Of course that's the perfect time for Sainsbury's to require a rescan on all my shopping.
When lifting Pugpoo out of the trolley into her pushchair I discover she is sopping wet due to leaking out the side of her nappy (well, that explains the blue bloody murder thing from above). Did I bring a change of clothes with me? Did I heck as like, the one day, the one and only day since my daughter existence I have forgotten to take a change of clothes with me and she has an accident.
But wait, salvation! Mothercare has a sale on, I'll just quickly nip in there, buy some cheap trousers in the sale and clean her up. Bollox! There must have been a flipping baby boom during March 2006 because there isn't a single pair of size 18-24 months trousers anywhere in the shop. I have to settle for some grey cord dungarees in the next size up without leg poppers to help ease nappy changes. There's a queue at least two miles long at the till. When I finally get to the front I am told that this till is cash only as the card reader isn't working. This means I have to again, join another two mile queue at the other till.
Now dangerously close to extremely grumpy Pugpoo's nap time we rush off home. Only to be stopped every five minutes by a member of the blue rinse brigade so they can admire Pugpoo's blond curly hair that I have put into cute wee bunches this morning.
Get home needing a therapeutic rant on The Bad Mother's Club Forums only to find that they are down.
At least Pugpoo's rendition of inkle inkle ittle tar cheered me up