Damn Van Man!

This morning in the rain myself and Amy were walking into town to buy Ana's birthday cake and presents for Monday. Being Friday it was the last chance I had to do it without Ana around.

On the way in we had to walk past a section of the road that was covered in a huge puddle, all the motorists were either avoiding the puddle or slowing down, except one.

A bloke in a van bombed it through the puddle drenching both myself and Amy in freezing water. Everything was soaked including Amy's change bag containing a change of clothes and two nappies (all soaked through). He must have been able to see that I was walking down the street holding a small child's hand and I honestly wonder if he cared. All of the other motorists on the road where considerate, why couldn't he have been also?

To add insult to injury it was a maintenance team van from our housing association.

A while later a car pulled up and the man asked if I was the lady that had been soaked by the van. When I confirmed I was he told me he had taken down the registration number and reported him to the housing association. I hope he got a damn good ticking off.

I have to confess though that I lost control at the point of puddle water impacted and yelled out WANKER! To which a little voice beside me echoed 'wanker', oops!

Another Last Cake

Amy: Give me cake!

Me: I can't there aren't any left, you had the last cake this morning.

*pause as Amy computes this*

Amy: Give me nother last cake!

Me: I can't there's only one last cake, that's why it's called the last cake

*Another pause*

Amy: Give me cake

Bouncing On The Bed

With the trampoline out of action in the recent bad weather Amy has been forced to find her own forms of entertainment.

Frozen Jelly!

Yesterday I went all Domestic Goddess and decided it would be a good idea to make some individual jellies for Ana to take to school in her lunch box.

I have these moments every so often, but I usually lie in a darkened room until they pass.

Anyway jellies made I popped them in the large fridge in the shed. The same fridge as it happens that has always had the dream of becoming a freezer. Two of the jellies froze overnight.

Now I have two options open to me here.

Defrost and hope they will be fine

or

Chuck them and deny all knowledge of having made jellies in the first place.

Those Naughty House Goblins

Last night it seems that I was visited by the house goblins.

I went to bed, leaving Vinnie up watching something insanely boring on the TV.

Everything was as it should be, neat, clean and tidy. Yet this morning when I got up it was not so.

In the night those blasted goblins had been at work. They must have been peckish as they decided to make themselves toast with cream cheese, some sliced pickled beetroot and have a large glass of milk to wash it all down. They had left the bread on the side unwrapped so that it had gone stale, the knife used to spread the creme cheese was just tossed haphazardly onto the work surface leaving little cheesy smear marks. They hadn't replaced the lid on the now empty (except for the vinegar) beetroot jar let alone washed it out or put it in the recycle bin.

The plate and glass where left on the dining table, unwashed. They hadn't taken the rubbish out after them or even bothered to switch the toaster off at the socket when finished.

Obviously full after their feast they then decided to have a bath.

Wet towels where left in a crumpled heap on the floor. They had removed and not replaced every cap to every bottle in the bathroom. There was shaving foam dripped everywhere and they had failed to wash the scum out of the bath after them. They had even drawn in the condensation on the windows!

Worst of all they had used the last of the toilet roll and left the cardboard tube on the side to mock me.

I have yet to catch these goblins in the act, the clever beasties even locked the back door after them. No doubt cackling to themselves as they went on to the next unsuspecting household.

The Izzy Soundtrack

Available in shops now!

Joking a side I have finally managed to record some of the things Izzy says when she's having a good old chunter to herself (sadly no coughing). Being camaera shy and claming up when ever I tried to film her the only way I could get anything was to hide round the corner and film the floor. So unfortunately all you get to look at is my rather interesting floor and a shoe.

Izzy says on the video:

Shut up! Hello? What you do? Im a chicken. Ring ring. Hello? 3,2,1. Ring ring. Hello? What? All right then. Bye! (sound of end call button being pressed) Ring ring. Hello? Its you. What you doing sweetie? The high pitched noise that drives Vinnie bonkers. Ring ring. Hello? Its you. Yeah. AMY! (something I cant catch). Im a chicken. (something, something then) Amy. Ring ring. Hello? Hmm. Ooh **** you! What you doing chicken? Ring ring. Hello? Hmm. (something I cant catch). Hello chicken. Ring ring. AMY what you doing? What you doing?. Amys scream Smelly dog! What you got?

Roll up, roll up. Place your bets!

As to which major appliance will cock up next.

Just two days into the new year and my freezer decides to pack in.

Yesterday Vinnie went to Comet and ordered the cheapest one available, but even then it's £225 we can't really afford and on top of that he had to pay £20 for delivery sometime between 8 - 6 Wednesday.

Of course in true Sod's Law fashion the day before I had done a massive Iceland shop. So three days of trying to keep frozen food as cold as possible. Thankfully it has been so cold lately that nothing has defrosted.

So place you bets, what will be the next thing to need replacing.

The cooker
The washing machine
The fridge
The tumble drier (although I hardly use it as it is)
or God forbid, the TV!

Happy New Year!

Good ridance to 2008! Hello 2009!

Christmas Photos

Santa's Been

We had to wake the girls this year but as soon as we uttered the words 'Santa's been' they sprang from their beds like coiled springs.


Soon enough though it was time to open presents!


Watch Christmas 2008 in Family Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Christmas fun!

Create Your Own

After beating off that winter virus which left me unable to do much but lay on the sofa while listening to the girls kill each other I decided it was some time for some Christmas fun.

So we baked some biscuits and then iced them. Loads of sticky fun.

Ill doesn't even begin to cover it!

I knew there was a good reason against taking your youngest to Mother and Toddler groups. Amy and myself have been struck down with the mother of all lurgies.

Yesterday morning I went out early into town to get some silver shoes for Ana, as the school had dumped it on my the previous evening through that wonderful medium the home school diary, that she would be requiring 'fancy' shoes to wear with her fairy costume for the school play for Friday dress rehearsal.

This is the same flipping play that they have been rehearsing daily since, oh I don't know, June!

So why wait until Wednesday to tell me she needs shoes?

Anyway twittering on as usual, it was quite cold, misty and frosty that morning and I noticed my chest was feeling tight and breathing was an effort. I shrugged it off as my Asthma playing up due to the cold damp air. Myself and Amy were completely fine until about 10pm last night when I was struck down with a raging fever and thumping headache.

Amy didn't fair too well ever and we both experienced a night of fitful sleep. Of course I use the word sleep in the loosest possible sense.

Today we have existed mainly laying on the sofa watching Playhouse Disney and only moving to drink, pee or take medicine.

But look on the bright side I have at least 12 days to get over it

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Amy doesn't eat, full stop. She has been known to survive entire weeks on condiments and carpet fluff.

Imagine our joy if you will when upon a recent cafe visit we discovered that Amy likes cherry tomatoes.

So we added a punnet to this weeks shopping and yesterday a sliced a few in half to put with her lunch of two slices of ham and a slice of chicken roll. I was pleased when she ate up all of the tomatoes and some of the ham. Woohoo, I've cracked it.

Or so I thought, whilst upstairs tackling both of the girls bedrooms Amy got into the fridge and helped herself to the remaining tomatoes. All of them!

I am now dealing with the very runny and very smelly fall out. I didn't think poo came in that shade of red

No, no, no!

Last night daddy told Amy 'NO!'

Amy said. 'Daddy, will you stop saying NO! It's all you ever say, NO, NO, NO!'

I have to agree with her there!